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Legal & General Construction Wellbeing Programme · Supplementary Talk 2 of 3

Looking Out for Your Mates

Toolbox Talk: Peer Support, Listening & Signposting

At a Glance

Two in three men who die by suicide had seen someone in the last week. They just didn't say what was going on. Looking out for your mates isn't about being a counsellor. It is about noticing when someone isn't themselves, asking a better question than 'alright?', and knowing where to point them. Construction loses two workers a day. You can save a life.

In the Ownminder App · Looking After Others

The Looking After Others section gives you the skills to spot, support and signpost a mate who is struggling, without overstepping or trying to fix things you can't fix.

  • Listen Up: Active listening using Samaritans SHUSH: Show you care, Have patience, Use open questions, Say it back, Have courage.
  • Catch Up: A structured 3-minute check-in format you can use with any mate without making it weird.
  • Being Assertive DEASC: Raise a concern with a mate who is struggling without making it awkward. DEASC works for peer support too.
  • Helping Others: Simple acts of support drawn from the MHFA England and Andy's Man Club peer models.

Discussion Questions

  1. How would you know if one of your mates was struggling without them telling you?
  2. What stops you from asking a mate if they are really OK?
  3. Have you ever regretted not saying something to someone?
  4. What is the difference between being nosy and being a good mate?
  5. Who on this site do you check in on, and who checks in on you?
  6. If a mate told you they were in a dark place right now, would you know where to point them?

Recognising the Signs

Someone who used to take the mickey in the canteen and has gone quiet. A mate whose drinking has gone from weekends to weeknights. A guy who is always tired, always cancelling plans, always 'fine'. Sudden changes in behaviour matter more than how bad the behaviour looks. Watch for increased risk-taking on site, giving away possessions or talking about 'sorting things out', or saying they are a burden. None of these mean the person is about to harm themselves, but all mean they need someone to ask twice.

Things to Try

You don't need a qualification. Just notice, ask, and know where to point.

  • Ask twice, 'alright?' gets 'fine', the second question is where truth comes out
  • Listen SHUSH, show you care, have patience, use open questions, say it back
  • Save signposts, Samaritans 116 123 and Lighthouse 0345 605 1956 in your phone
  • Run Catch Up in Ownminder, a 3-minute format that doesn't feel awkward
  • Don't try to fix it, listen and point to support, that is your job

Earlier Intervention

Catching a mate when they first start to struggle is when peer support matters most.

Stronger Site Relationships

Friendships built through honest check-ins last beyond this project.

Help-Seeking Culture

A site where asking for help is normal is a site where fewer people end up in crisis.

Support

Ownminder → EAP → Mental Health First Aider → Samaritans 116 123 → GP/NHS → Lighthouse Construction Industry Charity 0345 605 1956

Attendance Declaration

I have attended this toolbox talk, heard the content, and know where to access Ownminder, MHFA, EAP and crisis support if I need it.

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Signature

MindForward Alliance Thriving at Work Standards 5, 7, 9, Accessible Support | MHFA England | Samaritans SHUSH

NEF: NEF Five Ways to Wellbeing: Connect · Give · Take Notice

Men's Health Strategy for England 2025 Lever 5: Peer-led interventions in male-dominated sectors